It’s been my observation that everyone wronged wants their offender to apologize. In response to an apology sometimes the one wronged responds with words unbecoming a Christian like: “I’ll never forgive you” or “You better be sorry” or something similar. There’s a saying about forgiveness that you sometimes hear: “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea until they have something to forgive.” This is a quote from Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis. It’s simply an observation that while everyone wants to be forgiven, not everyone is willing to forgive.
In Matthew 18:15-17 Jesus talks about how an offended disciple is to forgive another. Jesus says, “15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.’ 17 And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.” What we want to notice is that Jesus is giving instructions to the one offended and how they are to respond to the offender. Although inferred, there are no direct instructions given here to the offender. This is because the one who offers forgiveness is the one who has the power to free the offender from their burden.
Jesus is the One who has the power to forgive our sins (1 Peter 2:24). Unlike the teaching in Matthew 18:15-17, there are clear instructions for those of us who have offended God with our sins. Initial forgiveness from Jesus happens when we first become a Christian (Acts 2:38). Forgiveness afterwards comes through our confession of our sins to God (1 John 1:9) and our repentance (Acts 3:19). God is faithful and will forgive us of our sins through Christ when we truly confess and repent of our sins – How many times will God forgive us? He will forgive us as long as we are truly following Him (1 John 1:7).
When someone sins against us, it is we who have the power of forgiveness. In Matthew 18:21 Peter wants to know how many times he’s supposed to forgive a brother who sins against him. Is it 7, 70, or 490? Jesus’ answer is to forgive like God forgives. In speaking of God’s forgiveness Micah writes in Micah 7:18-19, “18 Who is a God like You, Pardoning iniquity And passing over the transgression of the remnant of His heritage? He does not retain His anger forever, Because He delights in mercy. 19 He will again have compassion on us, And will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins Into the depths of the sea.” God’s forgiveness is true forgiveness. God not only is full of mercy and compassion, but His forgiveness is complete. God forgives and forgets our sins casting them into the depths of the sea. We, however, can forgive, if we choose, but we cannot forget.
Peter’s example of forgiveness is the one that most people follow. They want to know under what circumstances they should forgive and how many times they should forgive. Jesus’ example of forgiveness is the one that we must always strive to follow. His forgiveness is God’s forgiveness. His forgiveness comes with mercy and compassion. His forgiveness is complete without recalling the offense and holding it against us.
When we fully understand and embrace Jesus’ forgiveness we will better be able to forgive others like Jesus forgives us. In the NIV, Colossians 3:13 tells us to “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
